“So that’s the situation… what should we do? Should Onee-chan stay the night?”
When I explained the situation to Mayuki-kun, who had come down from the second floor, his eyeliner-rimmed eyes widened.
“Of course, I won’t force you. There are still trains running. If it’s a bother, I’ll go home.”
Mayuki-kun’s face turned bright red as he covered his mouth. I thought his fever had gotten worse and he was about to be sick, but that didn’t seem to be the case. After showing a moment of hesitation, he let out a faint voice.
“…In that case, um… please stay.”
He tried to go back up the stairs, so I stopped him with a “Hey, hey.”
“How many times do I have to say it? You need to take off your makeup.”
“…I don’t want to.”
“Why not? Is there a reason you can’t take it off?”
When I asked during our fruitless exchange, Mayuki-kun looked down and muttered.
“…Because it’s embarrassing.”
Does he mean his bare face is embarrassing? I feel the same way, but…
“In that case, should I just go home after all?”
“No!”
This time, he denied it. What’s the right answer here?
It feels like we’re at a complete impasse. What am I supposed to do?
As I was at my wit’s end, not knowing what to do, Mayuki-kun started to say something again.
“…n no… ka…”
“Hm?”
When I asked him to repeat himself, Mayuki-kun, his face still flushed, shouted.
“Himari-san… you idiot!”
And then, without a moment’s delay, he groaned “Ugh…” and leaned against the wall. It seemed the recoil from suddenly shouting so loud had hit his legs and lower back. Flustered, I reflexively slid to his side and supported his body.
At a distance where I could clearly hear him breathe, his words, however, did not stop.
“You said you were coming over all of a sudden, so I didn’t want you to see my messy house, but I was happy you were coming so I couldn’t say no, and I can’t talk properly without my makeup on so I put some on, and if you asked if you could stay the night I’d definitely say I want you to stay but if I took my makeup off I wouldn’t be able to talk properly anymore so I thought I’d just stay like this, so why are you trying to stop me?!”
Panting, panting, as if in pain, Mayuki-kun stared at me.
“Eh… no, um… when we first met, you talked to me normally even without makeup, right?”
“That’s what I’m having trouble with, because I can’t do that anymore!”
“Sorry, I really have no idea what you’re talking about!”
“It would be a problem if you did understand!”
“I’m surrounded?!”
Next to a confused me, Mayuki-kun let out a long sigh.
“…Reika-san told me. That taking advantage of your kindness, Himari-san, to justify myself is just plain dependence. That’s why I want to act with resolve, but I’m such a coward that I can’t even talk to you properly, Himari-san, without putting on ‘Kamimura Mayu’… And besides, I’m sure that you like the me who is ‘Kamimura Mayu’, Himari-san, and that’s why you’re taking care of me like this…”
“Hold on a second. I think I just heard something I can’t let slide.”
I interjected as Mayuki-kun was overcome with emotion.
“You thought I came to look after you, Mayuki-kun, because I like ‘Kamimura Mayu’?”
“Am I wrong?”
“Yeah. You’re a little bit wrong.”
“Then, why—”
At point-blank range, our eyes met.
The corners of Mayuki-kun’s eyes were moist.
I’m sure it wasn’t because he was feeling unwell.
“Himari-san, please tell me… Why are you helping me?”
He was pressing me for an answer.
Why did I help Mayuki-kun?
To confess that reason would mean telling him about the past I carry.
It’s by no means an interesting story.
It has no climax and no punchline. It is an extremely straightforward fact.
But.
“…Or… is it something you don’t want to tell someone like me?”
His feverish cheeks were flushed.
There was no way I could refuse him when he looked so desperate.
Above all, if revealing my past would make him feel even a little better—then that would surely be a legitimate act of helping Mayuki-kun.
In the end, I resigned myself to it.
“Alright, I’ll tell you… So come on, the washroom. I’ll take you. You can lean on my shoulder.”
“…Do I really have to take it off?”
“You don’t have to be scared. I won’t change my attitude.”
“…Okay.”
After a short while, I went upstairs with Mayuki-kun, who had this time finally removed his makeup and was barefaced.
I dimmed the lights in the room and straightened my posture at the bedside of the now lying down Mayuki-kun.
And then I began.
“Okay, could you open a browser on your phone and search for my name?”
Perhaps because it was unexpected, Mayuki-kun’s gaze wandered in mid-air.
Though suspicious, he typed “Anesaki Himari” into his phone.
“…Ah, that’s right.”
I realized then that I had forgotten to tell him something important.
“Sorry, it’s my former surname. Not Anesaki, but ‘Mukai’.”
“…Himari-san, you were married…?”
“No! That’s a complete misinterpretation!”
Since the topic was about to get dark, I raised my voice, trying to at least keep my demeanor cheerful.
“Because my parents divorced. Anesaki is my mother’s family name.”
“…The same as me.”
“Yes, the same. By the way, the surname is ‘Mukai’, and the given name is ‘Himari’ written with the kanji ‘日葵’.”
Mukai Himari. Seeing that string of characters, Mayuki-kun muttered under his breath.
“…Himawari?”
“Sounds like it, right? It was a cute name. I don’t really care that my parents got divorced, but I was a little sad that I couldn’t have this name anymore.”
He tapped the search icon, and a split second later, various pieces of information were listed.
“15th All Japan Junior Kickboxing Championship, Women’s Division - 8th Place, Mukai Himari (First-year middle school student)”
“16th All Japan Junior Kickboxing Championship, Women’s Division - Runner-up, Mukai Himari (Second-year middle school student)”
“Kick as in kickboxing… Himari-san, All Japan Junior is a national tournament, right?”
“Yeah. But the number of female middle school competitors is small. It’s not on the scale you’re imagining, you know?”
“…Even so, you’re not ‘just a college girl’.”
“What are you talking about?”
“…When you caught the stalker for me, Himari-san, that’s what you said.”
Ah, that’s right.
He did ask me, “Who are you, Himari-san…?”
“To be honest, I’d rather you not see my old self.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I look completely different from how I do now. Don’t be surprised.”
What eventually appeared was a photo of three girls standing on a winners’ podium. The girl on the “First Place” stand had a huge smile on her face, holding a trophy with a sash that read “16th” high above her head.
“Eh… the one standing in ‘Second Place’ is?”
“Yes. That’s me, back then…”
I couldn’t help but speak formally. I could feel my own face turning red.
Is it a blessing that my appearance is so different that people don’t recognize me, and that my surname has changed?
”…, You look completely different…”
“Give me your honest opinion.”
”…’Looks strong’.”
“Aghk.”
I let out an ugly cry and bent my upper body backward. I knew it, but still.
The girl standing on the runner-up podium has puffy eyes and thick lips twisted into a scowl, applauding with a face that makes no attempt to hide her frustration.
Her hair is cut short for the simple reason that it gets in the way, she doesn’t know the first thing about makeup, and her build is a size larger than it is now… Combined with being in puberty, her face is all puffy. My past self is too ugly.
I get that you’re frustrated about being the runner-up, but you’re being photographed, so at least try to smile a little… I sent the thought to her, but unlike the portraits in the music room, her expression didn’t change.
I steeled myself and looked at my too-ugly past self again.
In the winner’s name field, it was written “Sawarabi Fuyumi”.
—Sawarabi Fuyumi.
Seeing that string of characters made my chest tighten.
“This is where the main story begins… This girl. Do you know Sawarabi Fuyumi?”
“…Sorry, I do not.”
“Right.”
Only pretty niche martial arts fans would know her, so that’s to be expected.
However, it’s an undeniable fact that she had outstanding name recognition in some circles.
Though everyone has probably forgotten by now.
“This girl, she was my best friend.”
The girl in the middle of the photo, holding up the trophy.
I pointed at her figure, beaming with a huge smile.
“She’s so slender, and her face is beautiful too. And on top of that, she’s strong at martial arts…”
“Yeah. She was cute, strong, an amazing girl… Yeah, she was an amazing girl, but.”
Suppressing my emotions as much as possible, I began to speak.
“You see, this girl… three years ago, she jumped from the school rooftop.”