‘Taking advantage of the other person’s kindness to justify oneself—that’s what we call dependence.’
Reika-san’s words crossed my mind, and I awoke from my light sleep.
When I got out of bed, feeling the weekend air, the sun was high in the sky.
There have been many times before when I’ve slept until noon due to the after-effects of a long streaming session.
But this was the first time I’d spent a night genuinely unable to sleep.
My head was throbbing and spinning, and I groaned, “Ugh.” I have no memory of falling asleep. I wonder how long I slept. I went to check the time on my charging smartphone—and froze.
—Thank you for yesterday. I had fun.
It was a message from Himari-san.
It had arrived at 9 in the morning. The digital clock on the display indicated it was 1 in the afternoon.
“Whoa!”
I hurriedly typed a reply: ‘I’m so sorry! I was asleep this whole time. I had a lot of fun too.’ The “read” mark didn’t appear yet. Come to think of it, Himari-san had mentioned she had her part-time job as a coach for a club activity today.
My memories of yesterday were a mess. After the men who tried to abduct me were taken away by the police, I first headed to the police station, accompanied by Himari-san, for questioning. Himari-san had instructed the people around to call the police when she rushed over, but since they didn’t know the whole story, it was necessary to file a victim’s report.
From there, we went to the hospital’s emergency room just in case, and by the time we were on our way home, it was past 1 AM. I think I was lucky that I didn’t have any real injuries, just having been grabbed strongly by the arms and waist.
If Himari-san hadn’t rushed over, I might have been in a much worse situation, and I’m not so thick-skinned as to ask for another chance after she protected me. But, while I was hesitating on whether to add more, she suggested, ‘Want to go out again sometime?’ so I added the phrase ‘If it’s not a bother’ to the message that was waiting to be sent and secured our next promise. Things I can’t say in reality without putting on a persona take shape with a moment’s determination when it’s just text.
I looked away from my phone, mechanically took off my pajamas, and took a shower. As I lathered shampoo into my long hair, I recalled that Hasumi’s hair had gotten shorter. It used to be longer than mine.
There are all sorts of old wives’ tales about why girls cut their hair, but I’m sure Hasumi had her reasons. She didn’t seem to have changed on the inside, but there’s no way she wouldn’t feel something when her circumstances changed so suddenly one day.
Come to think of it, I still had one sponsored review video left that a cosmetics company had requested. I’d already finished recording and was about to start the cutting and text-insertion work. The video is scheduled to be released in two weeks, but for these kinds of tie-up videos, I have to have the client check the final product, so it’s better to aim to have it done by the end of next week. I got out of the bathroom, quickly dried myself off, and started the washing machine while I was at it. A holiday routine ingrained in my body.
I returned to my room, sat down in my gaming chair, and turned on my desktop computer. I launched the editing software and dropped in the recorded video files, and a timeline divided frame by frame appeared. I tapped the space key, and the “Kamimura Mayu” on the screen bloomed into a smile.
‘Haro haro~! It’s everyone’s MayuMayu, Kamimura Mayu! Today is—umm, today is—’
“Haro haro, it’s everyone’s MayuMayu, Kamimura Mayu… Next is…”
I was tongue-tied and couldn’t speak well at this part, huh… I thought as I cut the footage. The editing process is simple and plain, unbefitting of the glamorous “Kamimura Mayu.” I think it’s something that Nakamura Mayuki is well-suited to lose himself in.
I steadily made cuts while looking at the audio waveform, alternately cutting and pasting the footage from the two cameras to unify the timeline, and previewed it on the software.
Yeah, looks good. I’m planning for a total length of about 10 minutes, so I’ll insert an eyecatch here—and so, I steadily piled up the work.
People watching video sites evaluate the final product based on whether they liked it or not, whether it was interesting or not, without knowing what kind of effort the creator on the other side put in. But I’m convinced that’s a matter of course. If society revolved only around people who could imagine that there is another human being just like them on the other side of the screen, then online slander wouldn’t have become a social problem.
With the eyecatch inserted and the cutting finished, I export the video once. This is called the “white material,” which doesn’t have text information, and next, I’ll edit based on this white material.
When I click the command, the PC’s fan starts spinning with a loud whirrrr. It’s a high-spec all-in-one desktop computer I bought with my streaming revenue, but perhaps after being used heavily almost every day for six months, it wants to complain at least once.
The export will take a few minutes, so I launch an image editing software in the meantime. Since this is a project from a company, I want to be particular about the presentation. Though, it’s not like anyone will notice even if I am particular about it—.
‘I started to feel like I wanted to support you.’
Suddenly, those words Himari-san had said crossed my mind.
“…This is bad.”
In a house all alone, in a room all alone. I mutter to no one in particular.
‘There’s no way the likes of you could understand this child’s feelings.’
“…This is bad?”
‘A person who only thinks of themselves could never understand this child’s feelings.’
“This is bad!”
I took my hands off the keyboard and trackpad and covered my face.
What should I do?
Himari-san’s voice, her face, her figure, they won’t leave my head.
I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t know what to do. When I checked the heat of my cheeks with both hands, I could tell that I was flushed.
A relationship where you just take advantage of kindness is just dependence.
I remember Reika-san’s words once more.
A relationship where I’m always the one being helped will become unhealthy.
An unhealthy relationship won’t progress.
So, if.
If, by some chance.
There was an opportunity for me to help Himari-san.
At that time, I want to be a source of strength for Himari-san.
When I post my video progress on RootSpeak, a vast number of mentions immediately appear. There are lots of people on the other side of the internet. People who throw spears from unseen places, hiding behind the shield of anonymity. People who act as someone’s spokesperson and push their subjective opinions. On the other hand, people who completely affirm me, whom they’ve never met, and create the seeds of conflict. At moments like this, I can’t help but think.
Am I okay staying as I am—?