Chapter 29
“Unfortunately, I don’t have conclusive proof yet. I can’t mobilize the Church’s power to arrest the ‘Environmental Protection Side’…”
“We don’t need to,” Lian Qi said to me. “You’re the Saintess. You can’t let those environmentalists have the pretext of ‘religious persecution.’ Besides—”
A smile curled at the corner of her mouth, and she continued, “Rather than arresting them now, I want to make their conspiracy go bankrupt, exposed under the watchful eyes of the public. That’s more satisfying, isn’t it?”
I gave a weak laugh. Then I’ll just have to see what Lian Qi means by “announcing the truth to the public within three days”!
Qifeng left, heading out into the smog to buy groceries. Lian Qi reminded her to buy an onion, saying something about how the “Environmental Protection Side” is like an onion, and she’s going to peel their conspiracy back layer by layer… I think she’s a bit obsessed.
But I’m still quite gratified by her drive. It’s better than living a retirement-like life at Fontainebleau Manor.
As soon as Qifeng left, Lian Qi nudged my waist with her elbow and said, “Didn’t you say you can give the Holy Light the properties of rubber? I want to see.”
Uwaah, that tickles! I quickly dodged, looking at her, incredulous. “Why are you so interested in rubber?”
“This… I’m curious how your saliva becomes so soft and elastic.”
The moment I heard the word “saliva,” I thought of some… indescribable experiences. I glared at her, embarrassed. “How can you be so sure I use saliva? I don’t use saliva when I summon my hammer, you know.”
“Because when I pulled my finger out of your mouth, your saliva—mm… I mean, the Holy Light… it solidified into a ‘pulled-thread syrup.’1 Wasn’t that changing its properties?”
Lian Qi’s deadpan seriousness while describing such shameful things made me want to die of embarrassment… and she even vividly described it as “pulled-thread”? Is that a dish?
“Come on, while Qifeng is out, let me see,” she said to me, her face full of anticipation.
“Don’t… don’t say it like… it’s something indecent…” I retorted. “Even if Qifeng were here, I’d still show you.”
As I spoke, I licked my finger. The moment my fingertip touched my tongue, I saw Lian Qi’s brow furrow. She stared at me silently and then said:
“…It really is saliva, isn’t it?”
“It’s not what you think—it just acts as a bit of a catalyst!”
Seriously…
I glanced away.
Suddenly, I really wanted to turn my back so she couldn’t see the process, and only show her after I was done.
Anyway, just as I was demonstrating, I pressed my palms together and then gently pulled them apart. The Holy Light, now imbued with the properties of rubber, formed a glowing net between my hands.
“Ooh?”
Lian Qi couldn’t resist poking it.
The rubbery Holy Light bounced between my hands.
Seeing this, I felt speechless.
“Lian Qi, sometimes I find you’re quite childish… a bit like, mm… me.”
“Have you heard the old saying? ‘People who aren’t on the same path don’t end up in the same house.‘”
“Who said I’d marry you!” I said, blushing.
“I’ll be the one marrying, and you’ll be the one getting married. So psychologically, you’ve already defaulted to being the… ‘receiving’ one, huh?”
…My mind was a complete mess. I felt like I was dizzy with shame. I didn’t want to talk for a moment.
Lian Qi just doesn’t understand, but I can’t explain to her that I’m actually a boy. This feeling of being unable to defend myself is so frustrating.
“You’d better be careful, or I’ll push you down,” I muttered, watching Lian Qi’s reaction.
However, this girl just poked the “Holy Light rubber net” between my hands and said, “The elasticity really is good. But can it really reflect magic? Won’t it break?” as if she hadn’t heard me at all.
Seriously… was my protest that weak-willed?
“Yes,” I replied, my face red, holding the cat’s-cradle-like pose. “I just have to catch the magic that’s shot at me. At most, it will get stretched really, really long, but it won’t break.”
“Changing the properties of Holy Light… this looks like it belongs to the Evocation school, right?”
“Mm… and the hammer belongs to the Transmutation/Illusion school, right? I don’t know either. By the way… why are you suddenly so interested in my abilities?” I glanced at her, unable to hold back my question.
“To develop you.”
“Develop… me???” My face was a question mark.
Why does that word make me want to squeeze my legs together?
“Shouldn’t we support each other? In the future, when I develop new magic, I’ll share it and discuss it with you, too,” Lian Qi said, taking the opportunity to wrap her arm ambiguously around my waist.
I nodded silently, too shy to reply.
Fine, spending too much time with her makes my mind go to strange places…
“So, what other abilities do you have? Show me.”
I had a flash of inspiration— “Actually, I can also give the Holy Light properties that are halfway between rubber and glue.”
“Ha? Are you talking about chewing gum?”
The Holy Light between my hands flickered, and its original tough, flexible texture instantly became somewhat soft and gooey.
Lian Qi let out a surprised “Oh?”
“Try touching it,” I said softly.
She tentatively poked it.
“Eek, my finger is stuck!”
“If I don’t remove it myself, you won’t be able to get it off.”
“Are you Spider-Man?”
“You’re the one who—”
Although I didn’t understand, I had a feeling it wasn’t a compliment.
“I’ve discovered you have so many functions. You can recharge batteries, restore mana, heal, and even make sticky stuff to stick to me.”
“What are you talking about? Those are the functions of the Holy Light, not my functions—” I quickly denied.
Lian Qi smiled and asked me, “Then what are your functions?”
“My… own…”
I fell silent, glanced away, too shy to answer.
“Want me to say them for you? First—”
“Don’t say it—!”
I instinctively lunged forward to cover Lian Qi’s mouth, not thinking… that I was still holding the sticky Holy Light between my hands. This is just great. It all smeared on Lian Qi’s face…
Uwaah… “I’m sorry!” I quickly apologized.
”…” Lian Qi’s mouth was stuffed with pure white, sticky Holy Light. She couldn’t speak. She looked just like someone who’d been gagged during a kidnapping…
If Qifeng saw this, wouldn’t she think we were playing some kind of shameful game? I quickly pulled the Holy Light off.
Lian Qi took a breath and glanced at me, annoyed and shy—“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”
“It really wasn’t on purpose… Wait, I’ll go get a towel! I’ll be right back—!”
Ahem, she has it on her face, too. I don’t even dare let her look in a mirror. I have to help her wipe it clean, quickly…
I ran tseng, tseng, tseng to the bathroom, wet a towel, and ran tseng, tseng, tseng back. Lian Qi was waiting on the sofa, sitting with her hands clasped between her knees. Her face and hair were dotted with the pure white, sticky Holy Light. She looked pitiful and endearing.
“Does it… feel disgusting?” I asked, laughing awkwardly, while helping her wipe her face.
“You… it’s fine,” she glanced at me, a flash of reproach in her expression that was gone in an instant. So subtle.
Footnotes
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拔丝 (básī) is a Chinese cooking technique for “pulled-thread” or “spun” sugar, often used for coating fruits. ↩