Chapter 9
It’s breakfast time. The tomatoes were used for the noodles last night, so all we have left are eggs. Isn’t there a saying, “Even a skilled housewife can’t cook without rice?”1 Although, being a boy, I can’t exactly be called a “skilled housewife.”
Lian Qi and Qifeng are waiting to be fed. I have no choice but to use what’s available. The moment I tied on my apron, Lian Qi came over to stare at me.
“You’re tying an apron?”
“Mm, yeah.”
Lian Qi’s question is so strange. It’s like she knows it’s inappropriate for me, a boy, to be wearing one.
“Fei’er, did you know? I heard there’s a really shameful way to wear one… which is to wear nothing but the apron.”
I stared at her coldly. I hate people who make it their daily mission to see me ashamed.
“D-Don’t make Fei’er wear something so shameful! If you’re going to do it, do it to me!”
“Qifeng, you’ve… had enough.”
But, as someone who wears girl’s clothes, I’m not in a position to say I’m the most normal one in this house.
I heated the frying pan, poured the oil, and cracked the eggs in. The whole process was smooth as flowing water.
It wasn’t enough for Lian Qi to watch me tie the apron; she came over again.
“Fei’er, what are you making?”
“Fried eggs. It can’t be helped; all we have are eggs.”
It’s true, we only have eggs. Even if the dragon egg Qifeng is holding is an “exotic” ingredient, it’s still an egg.
Has Qifeng started using it as a pillow, just like me? Just sitting on the sofa and casually holding it?
“Fried eggs? In that case, I want mine sunny-side up. The kind with the runny yolk,” Lian Qi told me.
“I’ll do my best.”
As long as Lian Qi doesn’t mind just eating fried eggs, it’s fine.
“I want mine over-hard!” Qifeng raised her hand at me.
“Can’t you two just agree!”
“What about you, Fei’er? Do you want sunny-side up or over-hard?” Lian Qi asked me.
“Of course he wants over-hard! It’s so crispy and delicious,” Qifeng, still holding the dragon egg, chimed in for me.
I thought to myself: Hey— you’re holding a dragon egg while discussing how to cook fried eggs… You don’t… have any ideas for the dragon egg, do you?
“What’s so good about over-hard? The yolk is cooked through. Biting into it is like chewing raw cholesterol,” Lian Qi said with a sidelong glance.
“Please don’t drag me into what feels like a ‘salty vs. sweet’ war,” I said weakly. Aiyah, I was so busy talking I forgot to watch the pan. Good thing it didn’t burn.
“You… you’re definitely on ‘Team Sweet.’ You’ll probably eat your fried eggs with hazelnut-cocoa spread, won’t you?”
“Eek, what kind of ‘dark cuisine’ is that?”
I feel like Lian Qi is deliberately teasing me, because during our time at the Magic Academy, I was pretty much eating dessert for every meal.
It’s all Qifeng’s fault for recommending which desserts at the school cafeteria were good. Once I tried them, I couldn’t stop.
I placed the plates of sunny-side up and over-hard eggs in front of them. Lian Qi and Qifeng looked like they were ready for battle. The eggs I’d spent minutes diligently frying didn’t survive more than a few seconds in their hands.
After thoroughly enjoying breakfast…
“I’m off to work—!”
Qifeng was steadying herself with one hand on the shoe cabinet, putting on her shoes and bidding me farewell, full of energy.
“Mm, come home early tonight.”
I stood in the entryway, waving goodbye to her. Lian Qi was off to the side, looking at me sideways.
“You’re like a little housewife.”
“You’re the one who is! Stop talking nonsense…!”
What does she mean, “little housewife”? Hearing her say that… it’s really embarrassing… However, Qifeng was gone, leaving just me and Lian Qi at home. I was suddenly filled with a sense of foreboding.
“Oh?”
Lian Qi placed a hand on my shoulder. I tensed up, startled.
“You haven’t even taken off your apron. Was I wrong?”
…Using my apron against me…
I didn’t think wearing an apron was a big deal, but after Lian Qi said that, I, a boy, felt ashamed.
“Stop it.” I sidestepped to the left, avoiding her hand.
“Qifeng’s gone to work. What should we do at home~?”
Hearing her drag out the word like that, I knew this was bad.
I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if she suggested something like, “Let’s do lewd things at home until Qifeng gets back.”
“The freezer is empty. We need to go out and stock up on ingredients,” I proposed a very practical problem. Otherwise, how am I supposed to feed the two of them? How am I supposed to feed this family?
“Alright.” —Eh? I didn’t expect Lian Qi to agree so readily.
“Perfect. We can go to your world’s market and see if they actually have salmon.”
“You’re still on about salmon?” I said weakly.
Speaking of which, I remember she said this “salmon” is eaten raw, in slices. It seems Lian Qi really likes to eat raw things. She liked her egg yolk runny just now, too. Maybe she and Sister Liwei would get along? Sister Liwei hates dragons to the bone. She would definitely be happy to eat raw dragon meat with Lian Qi.
“It doesn’t have to be salmon.”
“Let’s go out as soon as I finish the dishes.”
There were only three plates, so washing them would be quick. I was just about to start, when the kitchen ceiling light flickered a few times and went out.
Lian Qi and I both made a surprised sound.
“Is the light broken?”
“It’s fine. We just need to change the bulb.”
But the height of the light fixture was truly intimidating. It’s shameful to say, but even though I’m a boy, I’m about the same height as Lian Qi. No advantage at all.
“I’ll go get a chair.”
“I’ll change it,” Lian Qi said in a neutral tone. I was a little surprised. She’s… volunteering to change the lightbulb?
I do the cooking, and she changes the lightbulbs? This division of labor feels… a little strange.
In reality, one chair wasn’t high enough. We had to add a stool on top of it. This made it wobbly and unstable.
“Be careful,” I said to Lian Qi, who was standing on the stool. This must be hard for her.
“I’m fine.”
“I didn’t expect you to volunteer to change the bulb.”
“This is what I’m supposed to do,” she said nonchalantly, twisting the bulb.
…Is Lian Qi… casting herself as the ‘boy’ in this situation? But I’m the boy.
The bulb suddenly lit up. Lian Qi clapped her hands. “Done.”
“Be careful coming down, too.”
She had just stepped from the stool down to the chair when she suddenly lunged at me!
“Uwaah!?” I had already prepared myself to catch her in case she fell, which is why I didn’t get knocked over. But I ended up getting a big hug.
“Er…”
She was hugging me, and I was hugging her. The scene was, for a moment, very awkward.
“What’s this? I thought I could use the momentum to push you down,” she said, disappointed.
“Just how badly do you want to push me down? Pouncing on me for no reason without warning… I really thought you’d accidentally fallen!”
“You’re a little too worried about me, aren’t you?”
“Because I’ve seen you get hurt too many times… Every time you came back from a match against the student council, weren’t you covered in wounds?”
“But I’ve definitely improved since we first met, haven’t I?” she said, hands on her hips, unconvinced.
“Well, that’s true…”
Although Lian Qi still has a long way to go before she can challenge the Demon King, the important thing is, I can see her progress.
Footnotes
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巧妇难为无米之炊 (qiǎo fù nán wéi wú mǐ zhī chuī) - A Chinese idiom meaning “Even the cleverest housewife can’t cook a meal without rice.” It means you can’t make something out of nothing. ↩